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Kucej
#241 Posted : Monday, July 27, 2015 11:31:58 AM



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Location: Ravne na Koroškem
"I'm a proud black man", said the black man.
"I'm a proud mexican woman", said the mexican woman.
"I'm a proud asian man", said the asian man.
"I'm a proud gay man", said the gay man.
"I'm a proud native american", said the native american.
"I'm a proud white man", said the racist.





"I used to say I live my life a quarter mile at a time and I think that’s why we were brothers- because you did too. The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room, right here, right now. Salute mi familia. No matter where you are, whether it’s a quarter mile away or half way across the world. You’ll always be with me… And you’ll always be my brother."
Smiler
#242 Posted : Tuesday, July 28, 2015 7:32:06 AM



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An uneducated father with his
educated son went on a camping
trip. They set-up their tent and fell
asleep.
Some hours later, the father woke
up his son.
Father:- Look up to the sky and tell
me what you see.
Son:- I see millions of stars...
Father:- And what does that tell
you?
Son:- Astronomically, it tells that
there are millions of galaxies and
planets!
Father slaps the son hard and says-
"Idiot, someone has stolen our
tent"!!!
MORAL:
Education can spoil our common
sense!!.. Biggrin
Smiler
#243 Posted : Tuesday, July 28, 2015 8:32:38 AM



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This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies.
She, franticly calls out a May Day. "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and he's dead and I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath.
Everything will be fine!
Now give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I support Obama."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio...."Repeat after me: Our Father, Who art in Heaven!!..
-GGib-
#244 Posted : Monday, August 03, 2015 4:27:18 PM



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Uute Mängijate Juhendamiskeskus

QPReds
#245 Posted : Monday, August 03, 2015 5:18:50 PM





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Haha musn't forget about RVP too. Joins for £24m and leaves for £4m
IRC used to be a fairly decent thing in FID but it's completely died out now. I'm going to try and bring it back. If anyone wants to shoot some poopies, talk about FID, real football or anything else really go to Quakenet, type in your fid username so we know who you are and enter the channel name #fid. Let's see if we can get some decent discussions, banter etc going.
Feel free to ask questions here.
Smiler
#246 Posted : Thursday, August 06, 2015 4:00:40 PM



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Smiler
#247 Posted : Thursday, August 13, 2015 1:27:16 PM



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An Indian Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Indian: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh... this is kerosene."
Indian: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."
Indian: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Indian: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."
Indian: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!"
Indian: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20
Smiler
#248 Posted : Wednesday, August 19, 2015 2:53:41 PM



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A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed o
ut the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this shucksing badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge, show him your shucksing BADGE!!"
Smiler
#249 Posted : Thursday, September 24, 2015 1:24:58 PM



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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers :
Please scroll down.
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...
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen.
Wickerbasket
#250 Posted : Thursday, September 24, 2015 2:45:19 PM





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Similar joke exists with double the quantity, and "I wish I was scared half to death".
#3 James Frost - Side Defender of Team Ten
Proud to be Goalkeeper, Left Side Defender, Right Side Defender, Central Defender, Left Central Defender, Right Central Defender, Left Central Midfielder, Central Midfielder, Right Central Midfielder, Left Forward, Right Forward and Manager of Team Basket Academy


thegreenwoods wrote:
I agree with the points made by James.
bluelightning
#251 Posted : Thursday, September 24, 2015 5:10:17 PM





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Football Identity Servers! Flapper

Who else has the next joke?
Elboludo
#252 Posted : Thursday, September 24, 2015 10:10:06 PM





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bluelightning wrote:
Football Identity Servers! Flapper

Who else has the next joke?


Nobody. There are no more jokes left to make!! Laugh Out Loud Laugh Out Loud
<22:59:08> "kwanzi"
: ha ha, well, at leats i can declare my love to you here







FID experience summed up:
Smiler
#253 Posted : Monday, October 19, 2015 7:18:41 PM



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Elboludo
#254 Posted : Monday, October 19, 2015 7:42:05 PM





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Smiler wrote:
https://www.facebook.com/keeptheheat/videos/10153550810792069/


Real or not this unbelievably funny!!! Laugh Out Loud


Pathetic troll attempt. Not funny Alison. Sorry D'oh!
<22:59:08> "kwanzi"
: ha ha, well, at leats i can declare my love to you here







FID experience summed up:
-GGib-
#255 Posted : Thursday, December 10, 2015 7:04:59 PM



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6 years ago, SAF beat Wolfsburg with only one defender. Laugh Out Loud

Global Moderator
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Johnny_Ljumske
#256 Posted : Thursday, December 10, 2015 9:04:41 PM





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Location: Uppsala
-GGib- wrote:


6 years ago, SAF beat Wolfsburg with only one defender. Laugh Out Loud




....and Obertan!!!
Leffe Prosit -some kind of defensive midfielder-
English Champion S 4 (The Vultures)
UFCL Champion Season 7 (Real Mani)
Champion IRL 2A Season 11 (Allianzc)

Jack Flash-ivrig anfallare-

Champion IRL 2A Season 11 (Allianzc)



'If it wasn't for bad luck,
I wouldn't have no luck at all'





Vulcanproject
#257 Posted : Thursday, December 10, 2015 9:31:23 PM





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Yes but SAF is basically god. He beat Bayern Munich and Real Madrid with Aberdeen in the same competition lol
ajwffc
#258 Posted : Thursday, December 10, 2015 10:17:47 PM





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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1r621_YlRY
Simon Stainrod CF #9 Real Sociopath BUL 1A
No longer with me


What I Have won

ajwffc
#259 Posted : Sunday, December 13, 2015 9:07:51 PM





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Joined: 3/25/2011
Posts: 378
Points: 1,504
Location: Falkirk
Drivers Conversation with Signal Box.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_eRWbpQKbg
Simon Stainrod CF #9 Real Sociopath BUL 1A
No longer with me


What I Have won

mayas
#260 Posted : Wednesday, December 16, 2015 1:09:29 PM





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Points: 984
see mr adult?Laugh Out Loud

wlcm us sideBiggrin
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