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andrewred19
#221 Posted : Tuesday, January 06, 2015 10:18:51 PM





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gooner4ever wrote:
The ones about a trophy are irrelevant now, we have won two in the last year.


Please dont count the Community Shield as a trophy
A.Ramsey wrote:

Highlights of tonight.... Andy doing an Ashley Young to get you a late red card:


gooner4ever
#222 Posted : Tuesday, January 06, 2015 11:11:03 PM





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andrewred19 wrote:
gooner4ever wrote:

The sinking ship - Song and Van Persie are enjoying their non-European football, Nasri has millions splinters in his arse from the bench, and Fabregas was clearly two-faced when he said in 2010 "If I ever wear a Chelsea shirt, you have permission to kill me". So those tuna sandwichs mean little (except Song, who I still like).



1) I would rather win the Premier League and not make Champions League then finish 4th and crash out in the 2nd round or Quarters in the champions league

2) Please find me link from a trusted website where Fabregas said that...

3) Nasri has 3 BPLs to his name more than anyone in the whole Arsenal team combined and Nasri does play quite a lot

4) Song won so many trophies at Barca

So they definitely got the best part of the deal... better luck next time i guess

1) If you win the prem, then you get in the champions league D'oh! - if you mean next season you don't qualify, then you start losing players. Funny how you struggled against Yeovil the other night Wink

2) It was fabricated, but he did say "Once a gooner always a gooner" and "I'll only ever play for two clubs - Arsenal and Barca"

3) He didn't start that much though did he? - greedy git not earning his wages.

4) He didn't exactly do much to win them did he. He just let Messi, Iniesta, Xavi, Alexis, Pedro, Pique, Alves, Fabregas, Valdes, Mascherano, etc. win them

And yes, community shield counts. You lot counted it when you won it, so we can count it when we win it.
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Neuromancer1
#223 Posted : Wednesday, January 07, 2015 12:24:28 AM





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I got the next joke.....

























Dan & Andy. Whistle

Mini Miudo
#224 Posted : Wednesday, January 07, 2015 12:40:56 AM





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Neuromancer1 wrote:
I got the next joke.....


Dan & Andy. Whistle


That joke's been around for a long time, so overused. D'oh!
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thepagan
#225 Posted : Monday, January 12, 2015 10:23:42 PM





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CR was talking about family and stuff in totally deserved Ballon D'or award lol then the unexpected outburst happened : RONALDO'S ROAR !

Ronaldos Roar

I think it should be added to fid as a special ability of ronaldo in the future Laugh Out Loud
gooner4ever
#226 Posted : Monday, January 12, 2015 10:39:44 PM





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Mini Miudo wrote:
Neuromancer1 wrote:
I got the next joke.....


Dan & Andy. Whistle


That joke's been around for a long time, so overused. D'oh!

Dance
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Smiler
#227 Posted : Thursday, March 12, 2015 8:19:44 AM



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Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.
All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger,
Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling.
When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'.
And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'
Smiler
#228 Posted : Thursday, March 12, 2015 9:25:40 AM



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Prepare Three Envelopes

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
Smiler
#229 Posted : Friday, March 20, 2015 8:27:48 AM



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Smiler
#230 Posted : Tuesday, April 07, 2015 8:44:42 PM



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Care of kwanzi!!
Wickerbasket
#231 Posted : Tuesday, April 07, 2015 8:50:03 PM





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...That last one is a superb idea.
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thegreenwoods wrote:
I agree with the points made by James.
Smiler
#232 Posted : Tuesday, April 07, 2015 8:50:46 PM



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Wickerbasket wrote:
...That last one is a superb idea.


Hee hee! I thought you might like that! smiling
MatthewRoy
#233 Posted : Tuesday, April 07, 2015 9:17:59 PM




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Wickerbasket wrote:
...That last one is a superb idea.

+1
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andrewred19
#234 Posted : Wednesday, April 08, 2015 12:11:16 AM





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Wickerbasket wrote:
...That last one is a superb idea.


+1000
A.Ramsey wrote:

Highlights of tonight.... Andy doing an Ashley Young to get you a late red card:


Smiler
#235 Posted : Friday, May 08, 2015 10:42:19 AM



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Found this little gem. Just had to repost it.

Smiler
#236 Posted : Friday, July 10, 2015 9:15:48 PM



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A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution, takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall.
He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape should use that door.
Immediately they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through.
However, one patient sits still in the back with a smile on his face.
He has not moved at all.
The doctor thinks he must be cured.
He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, "They don't know that I'm the one who has the key!!..
Smiler
#237 Posted : Wednesday, July 22, 2015 8:07:47 AM



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Story of a dead donkey....................
Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey’s died.’
Paddy replied, ‘Well then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.’
Paddy said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘What are you going to do with him?’
Paddy said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle a dead donkey!’
Paddy said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked,
‘ What happened with that dead donkey?’
Paddy said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898′
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Paddy said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.’
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland!!..
Smiler
#238 Posted : Thursday, July 23, 2015 1:26:52 PM



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Three men selling bibles
This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him. He interviewed three people.
The first came in and said, “I want to sell Bibles for you.” “OK, you’re hired. Here’s your kit; go sell!”
The second came in and said, “I want to sell Bibles for you.” “OK, you’re hired! Here’s your kit; go sell!”
The third came in and said, “I- i – I wa – wa- wa-want t-t-t-t-to s-s-s-s-ell to sell, to sell, to sell, Bi – bi – bi – Bibles, sell Bi -Bibles f-f-f-fo-for y-y-y-y you Bibles for you!”
“No,” shouted the man, ” this will never work! You can’t sell Bibles for me!”
The applicant replied, “B-b-b-b-but I r-r-r-eall, but I really, really, n-n-n-n-need th-th-th-this, really need tthis job!”
As there were no other applicants, he man said, “OK, I’ll give you one shot at this, but I expect you to PRODUCE!”
At the end of the day, the first applicant comes back and reports, “I sold 8 Bibles today.”
The second reports: “I sold 11 Bibles today.”
The third worker reports, “To-to-to-to t-t-today, I-i-I so- so, I so-, I so-, I so- I sold 28 Bi- bi- b- bibles!”
“Great,” says the man. “However, I want you to sell lots more Bibles than that, so get out there tomorrow and MAKE ME SOME MONEY!”
At the end of the first day, the first worker comes in and reports, “Today, I sold 32 Bibles.”
The second worker reports, “I sold 44 Bibles today”
The third worker reports, “To-to-to t-today, I-i-I so- so, I so-, I sold 79 Bi-bi-bi- sold 79, sold 79 Bibles.”
“Fantastic,” said the man, “since you’re doing so well, so much better than these other two bums, why don’t you tell them what your sales technique is.”
Replied the worker, “I-i-I j-j-j-j-ju-ju-ju-just wa, wa, wa, just wal- wa- wa- walk, just walk up to up to up to just walk up to them and and ask, them and ask, them and ask if th-th-th-th ask if they w-w-w-w-w- wa- ask if they want t-t-t-t-o-o- if they want to b–b-b-b-b if they want to buy a Bi-bi – want to buy a Bi–b–a – a- abi – buy a to buy a Bi-bi-bible, or d-d-d-d-d do th-th-they do they w-w-w-ant me to READ it to ’em!!.. smiling
Trend
#239 Posted : Thursday, July 23, 2015 4:30:04 PM




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Really funny Biggrin


With determination and will power, I will become a great goalkeeper, one day..
Smiler
#240 Posted : Monday, July 27, 2015 7:34:52 AM



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Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, And every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' ; Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, And fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!!. smiling
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